'AITA for telling my ex’s fiancée that he’s using the diamond from my ring?'

"AITA for telling my ex’s fiancée that he’s using the diamond from my ring?"

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 2 years, separated for 4. During mediation he wanted the 2.5 carat diamond back from the engagement/wedding ring he gave me, and I agreed. We coparent our 2 kids relatively well, but overall, he terrifies me and can be vengeful.

I hope he’s nice to whatever partner he’s with, and treats them better than he did me. He recently got engaged to someone he’s only been dating for roughly 6 months. The kids had no idea he was going to propose (they’ve been living together the past 3 months).

The way I found out was through the kids…whereas I prefer to give coparenting heads ups on things that would impact the kids. My daughter voluntarily said that the diamond looks a lot like mine (it did have distinct inclusions).

If I see his new fiancé and confirm that the diamond is my old one, part of me wants to be like “dang girl, he used the same diamond? You deserve better," but then again it would be a bit petty and could stir some unwanted contention.

If I was in her shoes though, I would want to know. My inclination is that he wouldn’t disclose that to her about the ring. What would you do? If I said something WIBTA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Laines_Ecossaises said:

YWBTA to yourself and your kids. Forget about his fiancée. You want to intentionally provoke a man you are terrified off? Seems like an incredibly stupid move.

That_Bee_Baker said:

He terrifies you and is vengeful? YWBTA if you risked your own and your kids' safety for this.

DestructoDon69 said:

First you say you're scared because he can be vengeful and then you talk about wanting to go out for your way to throw him under the bus and start drama. A little counterintuitive don't you think? YWBTA. Let it go and focus on parenting.

Ok_Conversation5339 said:

YTA. You say he terrifies you but you’re trying to rile him up???? You say you coparent well and you’re willing to upset that just to be petty to a woman that hasn’t done anything to you?

Just because you’d want to know doesn’t mean that she wants to know. And diamonds can and should be reused, like, are we going to throw out all diamond rings that have been previously worn by someone else?

oliviamrow said:

YTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys, not your place. You have literally zero reason to insert yourself into his relationship, especially if he "terrifies" you! Doing so would just draw his ire and also potentially give him ammunition against you, socially if not legally. Don't get involved.

DiggbyChickenCaesar said:

YTA. Drop it, OP. Stick to co-parenting. Nothing good will come of sticking your nose in, and your kids will end up spectators to any theatrics.

Brefailslife420 said:

Yta. It's none of your business.