"AITA for refusing to tip a bartender?"
I'm a 21 yo female college student, and I don't have a job outside of summer because I play D3 soccer at my university. Because of this, I have a strict budget when I go out because Ubers, drinks, and food are very expensive and add up.
I understand the importance of tipping and I always tip 20% at restaurants and at least 50 cents to baristas when I order a drink. However, this particular night I ordered a drink at the bar that was 8 dollars. This was already expensive, and I was anxious about spending too much, so when the tab was presented to me, I clicked "no tip."
Immediately after I did that, the bartender, who looked to be in his late 40s, got upset. He said "No tip, really?" He then turned to my friend and said, "What's wrong with your friend, you need to teach her how to tip." I apologized and explained that I was a broke college student who was on a budget to which he yelled "I don't care, that's not my problem, you need to tip."
I tried explaining myself again, to which he only got more angry. At this point, I was worried he would spit in my drink, so I shut up. The next day, I called my dad to tell him about what happened, and to my surprise, he took the bartender's side. He said I should've tipped and that bartenders essentially live off of the tips they get.
I told my dad that I was trying to save money, and he said that I shouldn't go out and buy drinks if I want to save money. I do try not to buy drinks as they are expensive, but I still think I should be able to have a good time and get a drink if I want one.
AITA? I'm still upset about the bartender yelling at me and I don't understand why he made it such a big deal. Did he think demanding money from a college girl would make me more inclined to tip? Is my dad right, or was the bartender dtm?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
sheiciebai said:
Why did you order an $8 drink if that was uncomfortably expensive? You could get a water, or a soda, or go to a less expensive place. ESH except your dad. He was right. If you want to drink in a bar in the us, you should be tipping.
IllustriousGas8850 said:
OP. Drinking alcohol is not necessary. Ordering an $8 drink at a college bar means you got a fancy drink. I drink $4 drafts and wells because I too am a broke college student. I still tip. YTA.
iceripperiii said:
Your dad is right: If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to go out. If you really want a drink, go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of Svedka and some orange juice, you’ll get more out of your $8 that way.
Ecstatic-Reply-3356 said:
Rather than sacrifice luxury items to maintain your strict budget, you opted to go out indulge. You enlisted somebody's professional services to facilitate your fun, and opted to have them sacrifice compensation so you could save money. YTA.
Kaliente369 said:
I will never condone this type of behavior. I have been in this industry for 12 years and would NEVER say this to anyone, ever, everything always balances itself out in the end. Being an entitled bartender will get you absolutely nowhere. It’s very unprofessional to say this to any customer in any type of establishment, the entitlement in this industry is getting out of hand.
EagleEyezzzzz said:
YTA, said gently. [Actually I’m amending this to ESH.] I’ve been there… counting change to see if I can get 2 versus 3 $2 PBR tall boys. But you need to factor it in to your costs of going out, period. If you can afford an $8 drink, you can afford a $9 drink+tip. If you can’t afford a $9 drink+tip, you can’t afford a $8 drink. Bartender also sucks for shaming you about it, though.