'AITA for demanding child support from the man I cheated with?'
"AITA for demanding child support from the man I cheated with?"
I (26F) have a 2-month-old baby girl. The father of my child (M34) is a married man (I did not know he was married when we were intimate). We met through a mutual hobby, and clicked pretty much instantly, and it evolved from there.
I was not trying to get pregnant, and was on the birth control pill. However, I did become pregnant and view her as a gift. I personally chose to keep the baby. After I found out and made my decision, I told him through text.
This is when I found out the scumbag had a wife of two years (F32), and he begged me to terminate. I gave him the option that either he could tell his wife with a one-week deadline or I would, and he ended telling her two days later.
She reached out to me to get the full story and all details. I apologized to her and reiterated that I didn't know, but that I was pregnant and was planning on keeping it. The call ended shortly afterward.
The wife ended up taking back her husband, and has allowed him to be a father to our child. His name is on the records for our child, and he does visit weekly with his wife. While he is involved with our daughter, he does not financially support her.
I am filing for child support; while I could comfortably support my baby with my earnings alone, I think she deserves more. I have informed the both of them of this, but they have both stated that this is unfair and that he was already going "above and beyond" by not abandoning our child.
On top of this, the husband's sister reached out to tell me that I was a b for even keeping the baby and that I was stealing money from her SIL and brother that could be going towards infertility treatments, and that I was hurting her SIL by rubbing this in her face.
While I empathize with her infertility struggles, I don't think that excuses him for paying for a child that he is 50% responsible for. AITA for demanding child support from the man I cheated with even if it hurts his wife?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
CatsMom4Ever said:
NTA. He shouldn't have cheated on his wife. Don't let him cheat on his child.
joywaveee said:
NTA. He is 1/2 the reason your child exists. He needs to pay child support.
Thatrebornincognito said:
NTA. Child support is to support the child. He fathered a child, he has not only a legal but a moral duty to support it. Yes, it hurts his wife. But you aren't the one hurting his wife, he is. His duty was to his wife. Your duty is to your child. Protect your child's rights.
GreenUnderstanding39 said:
Fighting for child support is not about you, him, or his wife. Its about the child who deserves the best chance in life, that includes financial support from the father. NTA but stop going to the SIL. File through the courts.
indipit said:
NTA. Are you ready to do 50/50 custody? That may be what they go for, and it would be fair, since he is involved with the child's life.
PennysMom77 said:
NTA…switch to a parenting app for contact o my and block his family. You are not responsible for dealing with his wife’s feelings. That’s his problem!
GreekAmericanDom said:
NTA. Your baby deserves the financial support of both her parents, even if you are raising her alone. You are not a cheater. He is the liar and cheat. He has to shoulder all of his responsibilities.