"AITA for borrowing my girlfriend's laptop?"
Since world events -- staying at GFs. She works from home -- I dont have to work but have full salary. I kill time by watching shows, playing online games and hanging with GF when she's not working. Yesterday -- my laptop broke -- I don't know what's wrong with it and I will have to bring it in.
My GF has 2 laptops; one for work and one for "fun". Her work is encrypted or something so she doesn't like using it for general browsing. I asked to borrow her extra laptop yesterday for my game. She said after her movie ended because she was streaming from fun laptop to tv and working at the same time. It would be about 1.5hrs.
When she went to the washroom, I took her fun laptop and switched to a similar movie on netflix. I dont understand why she had to watch this movie right now. She has netflix, amazon, crave and Disney plus, so many options to choose from.
Like she's a bit priviliged with a smart tv in her room, her guest room and her living room. An Xbox, PS4, Switch and N64. Sometimes I think she likes having the "best" of everything.
Anyhow she got really upset with me and said I violated her boundaries -- big fight last night. She made me sleep in the guest room. My guy friends think shes over-reacting. Like it's just a movie.
This morning she said she slept on it and feels like we need a break and asked me to leave. I left this afternoon to my parents but borrowed the extra laptop until I get mine fixed.
She called freaking out, called me a thief, said she will call the cops. Accused me of being AH but my mom thinks she needs to chill. Maybe do a spa day or something. Like she has 2 laptops and all these gaming devices, I think she will be fine.
So AITA for borrowing my GFs laptop?
The next day, OP returned with an update.
So after a long conversation -- my GF has told me that there were a few things in the last 7 weeks that has upset her and that she felt she gave me many hints. She didn't tell me outright though.
I told her I was sorry and it was a really jerk move for me to take her laptop. My brother dropped it off earlier. I am 23(m) and she is 26(f) - don't know why people want to know that!? She accused me of using her for free housing, food, and stuff.
I talked with my brother and he said it's common sense to chip to these things - because shes my GF and not my mom. I guess I'm an idiot but at the same time - I wished she just straight up ask me for money to contribute vs. "We are running out of TP" or "we just used a quarter of gas on this trip".
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Holy cow. This dude was denser than diamonds.
lol, doesn’t think he’s been dumped after stealing her laptop after she kicked him out.
I stole my gfs laptop but it's okay because she buys nice things for herself and how dare she.
She just needs a spa day. / What an AH. Then his brother has to tell him it's not cool to sponge off your girlfriend and not contribute. Then his dumb self is like it can't be my fault, she never told me to. Like, when my mommy tells me to pick up my clothes. SMH.
Yup, OP is dense af. People asked for his age and he didn't even have a clue about his immaturity smh.
I was just thinking the same thing. Like how could he not see that it is wrong? Firstly, changing the movie to something else while she was watching is wrong. You wouldn’t like it being done to you.
Secondly, then using her laptop without her permission also wrong Thirdly, taking her laptop with you when she asked you to leave because why the fork not apparently. Do anything of these things look good? Major YTA.
“I needed my brother to explain to me, a whole grown adult, that when I use someone else’s resources that I’m in a relationship with that I should chip in and pay for some of it.”
God the bar is underground.
Yes, YTA. It’s her laptop, not yours. Give it back and be a responsible adult (get yours fixed or get a new one). She’s not “spoiled” by having all these things. She works hard, earns money, and buys them. Like a responsible adult.
latptopsituation OP:
I am not saying she is spoiled -- just that she has a lot of options and maybe she overreacted a little bit when I took her laptop initially and now it has escalated.
She didn't over react at all. Just because YOU think she has other things to do doesn't mean you're entitled to anything you want. The laptop is hers. You stole it. You escalated the situation.
She was being generous by allowing you to use her laptop. You're acting worse than an entitled brat because you actually believe you have some kind of right to HER PROPERTY. YTA.
Your insistence that she’s overreacting to various things you’ve done is really disturbing. Treating someone horribly and then telling them they’re overreacting when they get upset is manipulative and abusing. You’re wrong; she had every right to be angry after she set a reasonable boundary and you ignored it.
Then she decided she was done with your behavior, so you stole her laptop on the way out the door. If you haven’t had a cop knock on your door yet, you can’t say she’s overreacting. Nobody would have batted an eye if she’d reported your theft. You need to seriously re-evaluate how you treat people.
Will your mother tell the cops they need to "chill" too when they appear at your house bc her son is stupid and think it's alright to take someone property without asking to borrow(steal?)... You can't be this much air head. And I hope you will give it back bc this is illegal. YTA.
latptopsituation OP:
My mom meant chill like for her to calm down so we can talk about it reasonably. I will return her laptop especially since it seemed to escalate her. When we spoke on phone earlier -- she was freaking out and threatening to call the cops.
I couldn't really squeeze in there "sorry, I will return the laptop!" So my mom said to wait for her to chill out maybe some self spa day thing because she does that to calm down from a rough day.